Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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