On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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