You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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