Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
