did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
