Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
