please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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