Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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