As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
