im so drunk with asians
where?
always
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
