i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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