so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
