Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
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He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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