Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Randomize