Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
