You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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