i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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