I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
3 2 1 whiskey
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
