you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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