I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
