if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
