he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I would fuck him just for his dog
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
