he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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