Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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