who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
