i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
