SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
