Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
