There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
wanna go halves on a baby?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
