The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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