o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
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But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
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the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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