Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
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