I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
