I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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