Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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