I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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