your room smells of hookers.
And success
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
