Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
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