Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
