this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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