i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
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Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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