He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
