you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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