On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
