what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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