Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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