Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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