pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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