i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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