i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
