Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
