I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
