Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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