how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
