yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
