I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Michael Bay diarrhea
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
