I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
