Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
