I can text with my tongue
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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